It is very difficult to control oneself and one's temper. I was born in a Brahmin family and with greatest humility I feel proud that the blood of great Rishis and Yogis like Vashishtth, Vishamitra, Kannaad and Pulatsya flows through my veins. I have devoted my entire youth to the science of Mantra and Tantra. An age which is generally devoted to pleasures, joy, comforts and happiness has been spent by me on the thorny and rocky paths of the Himalayas. An age which is generally spent on silky beds has been spent by me sleeping on rocky beds. Years which are spent in the company of beautiful wife, I have spent in the holy feet of old Yogis and Sanyasis.
But I do not have any regrets about this. Today when I look back at the path on which I have traveled I feel proud of myself for having tread on a path which is paved with nothing but rocks, sharp thorns and stones. I have had to struggle with foxes in human forms. I have walked on a path on which my life was at stake. Without preserverance it is not possible to even step on this path. On this path on every step one has to face criticism, lies, blows and evil plans. All around I have been surrounded by foxes who feed on flesh made of criticism. For them life only means degrading others. As a person is, so he thinks of others. For several ages they have been trying to pull those who do something great to their own level. They want them to be corrupt like themselves.
Whenever I have stopped at any point in life and thought about myself I have found only great achievements written against my name. When the society was struggling against the forunes of the mughals and the British I tried my best to keep the lamp of independence lit. I have been a witness to massive slavery. In my years of youth I have witnessed the demoniac acts of the so called humans during Indo-Pak partition. In the middle of night I have dodged the religious fanatics and walked over gory dead bodies. With my own eyes I have seen so much pain, so much hatred. I have seen close friends and dear ones crushed to death by these beasts. I have witnessed all this pain and still I can feel the pain whenever I remember those moments.
I have also seen Sanyasis wearing ocher robes who adorn the places of pilgrimage and the jungles in the hope of getting themselves worshiped and robbing gullible masses. They wear long vermilion marks on their forehead and have followers who chant their names. I have looked deep into their psyche and have found that there is nothing but deceit, arrogance and cunningness in them. They take advantage of the problems of the common folk and dupe them. They look worse than even beggars as they go walking around streets for a few rupees. I have witnessed their cunningness, deceit and lies. And I have silently gulped down all this poison. I have also seen so called Sanyasis living in huge Ashrams and their business of miracles and magic. This has always made me almost lose my temper and many times I have felt ashamed that I have to observe the same dress code as they do.
But even in this period of utter darkness the words of the great Rishi Mudgal spoken 25000 years ago still ring in my ears. He had said - Only one who can drink poison can produce light in this world. Only he can be called Neelkanth (Shiva!) I have had to drink this poison thousands of times. I have to grope my way through utter darkness and have stumbled many a times. My feet have cut and bled but the divine words of great Rishi have always encouraged me to go on and on. And I have pledged that if I can burn my life like a lamp in the night till the sun rises then I shall continue to do as much, so that the darkness does not overwhelm mankind.
I have lost golden days, precious days fighting against this darkness. My youth has been spent not in comforts but in stumbling against rocks and stones. Sweet dreams of the youth have been tom to shreds by the thorns of jungles. I left my home, my family, my pleasures. But I got in return something more valuable. I gained the precious knowledge of our ancients that is the real treasure of our Rishis. The invaluable gift of our Rishis like Kannaad, Pulastya, Atri and Mudgal was hidden by our cowardly ancestors in pages of texts. And by just writing down this knowledge they thought that their duty was over. And then later generations committed even more sacrilege by ignoring and misusing this knowledge as a result of which the precious knowledge was lost. And this is why today no one remembers these middle generations because they did nothing great in their lives. On the other hand they criticised their own Rishis and abused them.
But still great souls like Guru Gorakhnath and Shankaracharya tried to keep the lamp of true knowledge burning by pouring into it the oil of their lives. They put at stake their lives and youths so as to protect the lamp from the harsh winds of those times. Due to their efforts the lamp's flame survived and continued to spread darkness. For a few years at least there was light of true knowledge. Everything appeared to look clear. But soon after their departure again the flame started to flicker. The next generations became more interested in songs and wine. The dances of damsels became more appealing-than real knowledge. Once again the lamp's flame became low due to which there sprung the fear that it might get extinguished.
The present generations forgot that we had such great ancestors like Vashishtth and Vishwamitra. They forgot the meaning of Gotra or the lineage of the Rishi to which one belongs. Only at the time of marriage this word is just spoken out as a formality. For us the names of great Rishis seem strange among the familiar names of today like Galib, Mir, Milton and Shakespeare. We think that the names of these Rishis are just a part of the Mantras spoken out by the priests in a ritual.
First time in the entire 25000 year history of India something has made us lose touch with our own heritage. The so called scientific and technological advancement of the West has made us forget that the blood of great Rishis flows through our veins. Western education has rendered us strangers in our own country to our own culture. We feel more close to names like Victoria and James Stuart. We feel more familiar to the history of England. We were used to walking on a highway of spiritualism. The foreign invasions forced us onto narrow footpaths and now finally even the footpath has disappeared and we are groping through a dense jungle of materialism which seems endless.
Impurity crept into our blood, our faces changed, a strange lust started to reflect in our eyes, we feel proud of looking at our images in the mirrors decked with suits and ties. When we look at the simple personalities of our parents and grandparents in pictures, we are not able to believe that we are their children. We feel like throwing out the pictures of our "uncultured" and turbaned fathers and grandfathers from our drawing rooms into dustbins. Aping the western life style we feel we are very great and cultured.
Is this the very blood that taught us about the greatest knowledge of worshipping the gods and goddesses? Today we think Mantra and Tantra are all baseless: And it is the Western education that has taught us this. Just look at the hypocrisy of the British. While they would be bowing before Lord Christ in a Church, they would at the same time be preaching that idol worship is superstition.
And easily convinced by their words we would throw the idols of gods and goddesses from our homes. While they would listen intently to the sermon in the Church, they would encourage us to make fun of and criticise our Rishis and Sanyasis.While they would be holding the Bible respectfully to their heads, encouraged by their teachings we would feel proud in kicking our own scriptures, the Ramayan and Gita. This is the history of the generations that preceded us and this is what we have learned from them. All this has caused a piercing pain in my heart. After my death people can come and see how many scars I bear on my chest due this pain and torture.
And these very cowardly and enslaved people think that they have a very scientific out-look. They say that the articles appearing in the magazine should have a scientific basis. They say that the scientific explanation of Mantra and Tantra should be given. Why only Mantra and Tantra, why not change the names of your parents? The relation of mother and father should also be given a new scientific basis. Without scientific basis can the world exist? Or is the past human history, when science was not developed, just a myth?
When I listen to their arguments and logic then I remember the words spoken by Lord Jesus two thousand years ago when he was being crucified. He had said - 0 God! Please forgive them for they know not what they are saying or doing.
Once the great Rishi Sushrut had said that a dry leaf flies in the direction in which the wind carries it. But a tree which is rooted deep in the ground might sway but it does pot get uprooted. Those who have no roots of their own, speak of being "open minded". What else can they say to hide their ignorance!
Ask any western scientist and he shall accept that the knowledge and techniques developed today are based on the knowledge of ancient India. Through the Indian system of knowledge, solutions to any problem can be found out. Anyone can tell that the Indian culture is totally different from the western. The western culture is not for all ages and cannot be universally accepted. On the other hand Indian philosophy suits all ages. This philosophy is just as relevant today as it was twenty thousand years ago. A famous western scientist once said to an Indian - When I see you running after western science and technology I pity you. You are wasting your money, time and energy in solving problems which are of the western society rather than of your society.
If you try to open a lock with a different key then not only shall you ruin the lock rather the key too shall get damaged. This is what we have been doing. We have tried to open the locks of our society with keys which do not belong to them. This is why for the past hundreds of years we have spoiled so many locks and keys.
We can do a lot. We do not need any certificate from anybody to prove our talents. We belong to a culture that is eternal. We need not accept high technology in our lives but we sure have to realise the truth that lies within. And this we can do only by being our own selves. We can instil totality in life only through Mantras, Yoga and Tantra. It is only through Sadhanas that we can purify the impure blood that runs in our veins. It is this pure blood that shall make a radiance of Indianness reflect on our faces. It is only then that our eyes shall be able to distinguish between right and wrong. It is only through these Sadhanas that we shall be able to realize the soul.
When this happens then we shall be able to realise our own true worth. Then 'we shall pick the pictures of our parents lying in dust and put them in the drawing room. Then we slialfbe able to realise the soul and have the divine glimpse of one's deity.
Then I shall be able to get some respite from the pain that I experience due to the. thorns that have pierced my feet and the torture that I have been through. This shall surely happen one day because I haye pledged to make you aware of the truth. And I am progressing on the path I have chosen and shall continue to do so till the last breath of my life.
- Revered Sadgurudev Paramhans Swami Nikhileshwaranandji
