My Disciples - A Family man

For every person the definition of joy is different. One is taught things by the family and society and it is on their basis that we define joy. From one generation to the other the thoughts are carried forward. Some think joy is in living in a beautiful home, for others eating good food is most joyous. Some think true joy is in having a beautifull life partner and children. Some think that being good in the eyes of others is the real joy of life. But these definitions are not your own. You have adopted a view which you have been taught. And those who taught you knew what they were doing. They wanted to limit your thoughts to a restricted area so that you would not become independent rather do as you were told. A family man keeps travelling on the same old path. He cannot think of a change in his life because right from his childhood he has been told that this is the only way of life.

Once a meeting took place and very eloquent high sounding speeches were made. Finally it was decided to take out a procession. All pledged that they would not back out even if the police fired at them. But the next day hardly a fourth of the original crowd gathered. I asked them - Just yesterday everyone pledged so solemnly. Why have all not turned up?

On of them who was just about to sneak away said - I am a family man. If something happens to me what shall happen to my children?

It means being a family man is a handicap. It restricts one's thoughts and actions. A family man becomes self centered. He avoids trouble and fights even at the cost of bearing injustice. He says - I am courageous, but my family responsibilites force me to keep away from trouble!

What is true joy or Anand?
Joy is a relative experience. If one feels an inner satisfaction and happiness on doing something then one is experiencing true joy. True joy comes from within and not because of praise of some person. How many times have you felt like taking off your clothes and getting soaked in rain? But the very next moment you curb your thoughts, worried what the people might think about you. And all you do is silently watch through your window the rain pouring on to the earth. You are forced to kill your feelings and daily you crush so many thoughts to death. And because you stop the joy from within to pour forth you start to seek it outside.

I receive many letters daily saying Gurudev, please do not go back to Siddhashram yet. We still need you. I say to them - Fine I shall stay back now. But when I finally leave will you go with me? If you wish to go with me then you shall have to make efforts right from this moment. You shall have to put all you have at stake to go with me. One of the disciples said - Gurudev, let me build a house for my childrens first. Then I will do as you say. Some other disciple said - Let me marry off my daughter then I shall free of all tension. Then you can take me anywhere. Right now I have lots of things to do in life.

You are like mere puppets and you dream of going with me! If you wish to go with me you shall have to change your outlook. You shall have to banish the thoughts which are there in your mind. You shall have to achieve the state of thoughtless mind. Only then shall you be able to go where I lead you. Only then shall I be convinced that this disciple is finally ready and is no longer a coward.

I shall know then that this disciple has realised his power, his goal the source of true joy and now he can be given some important work to do. Now great thoughts can be put in his mind which shall touch his heart rather then create a turmoil in his mind.

- Revered Sadgurudev Dr. Narayan Dutt Shrimali